Time and time again, as I come to a rough spot, I reflect back on the strength the Lord gave me during my cancer treatments to gain perspective. I find that once I read a journal or two, I am strengthened even more to face any battle. This one blessed me tonight. I hope it will meet you where you are as well.
CaringBridge Journal March 6, 2009
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” 1 Peter 4:12
Hey there! I come to you today with a heart as big as my body, so full of the Holy Spirit I just must share his precious oil of goodness as it overflows from my heart. Yes, I do feel like myself, free of pain and discomfort, joyful and most of all full of hope. It dawned on me yesterday, oh, this day is truly evidence of the “hope” we don’t see, I will feel like my old/new self again, I will comfortably drive a car and take my children to the craft store (not a regular thing for us, but it might be now…we decided we would have 1 day a week to do a craft instead of watching TV or piddling the afternoon away.) or or go to lunch with friends, a date with my husband, on and on. The Lord has filled me with his hope and given me the strength to know this day was coming. I don’t just say it to say it and sound spiritual, I mean it….PRAISE GOD WHO GIVES US HOPE…oh how I love him with every inch of me.
I am reminded of what happened on the the Friday before my diagnosis. I had gone to dinner with my friend and soul sista, Dawn at Panera that night. They basically kicked us out because we were in such deep conversation and prayer, yes, right there in Panera on a friday night in Vestavia (makes me chuckle). God was plowing the soil then so I would be good and ready for Monday’s news. Anyway, I was driving home and stopped at the red light, ironically by my Shades Mountain Baptist Church (my church home) and the license plate in front of me said “HOPE4U”. Now you know I think that was bought and designed by the hands of God, just for that moment, just for me. I remember coming home and telling Jeff about it. God reminded me of it yesterday. So, today I am sending you that same message…HOPE4U. No matter what you are facing, people you are dealing with, pains, bondage, loneliness, loss, fill in the blank and ask the Lord to give you a glimmer of his hope, and I just know and will pray that He shows you in a mighty way what His hope is!
This experience is opening my eyes of understanding to being used as a vessel of God. I am seeing my prayers answered as I feel Him drawing near to me those who need to see some proof of a LIVING AND ACTIVE GOD. And just this week I have been able to minister to, through Him, a few of his beloved children. It is funny to see how we all put an amount or degree of suffering on any given circumstance. My cancer is no worse than your addiction or hurt toe. I am guilty of saying “it’s nothing like what you’ve got”, yet in God’s eyes he loves us through any and all degrees of hardship. So to tie this all in with todays’s verse, I am not at surprised I was diagnosed with breast cancer, which would be my “fiery trial” but you better bet I am going to listen and obey and confess and forgive and die to myself daily, moment by moment, with hope to please my Love, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am listening to the voice of Truth and praying you are quiet enough to do the same. I am looking forward to my afternoon in the sunshine with friends and family! I absolutely LOVE hearing from you all! I close with the next verse in “1 Peter 4:13 “But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” Blessings, Suzanne